Wrote this line for my husband, and made this graphic today.
I wish that I didn’t get so distracted by the things in my life. When there is so much going on in my life, it is easy for me to forget, to be distracted. I have noticed that when I drift from my Father, unintentionally or intentionally, there seems a heavier burden I bare. It’s true; when He’s not first and foremost in my life there are many things I cannot handle well.
Why do I ever stop leaning on Him? What the hell is my problem? I don’t get this! Why am I stupid concerning this part of my life? The MOST IMPORTANT PART! I don’t know. All I do know is that I have to get it out and somehow I have to learn. I have to do it NOW. It simply cannot wait another moment!
I’m drowning. I’m drowning in the freedom to choose Him. The option to spend time in His presence. Yet, I have chosen to spend more time doing schoolwork, time reading Facebook, time doing anything other than concentrating on my relationship with the Father.
God, help me to be in a place where I thirst after Your righteousness and seek to spend more time with You. Help me to put our relationship before all others. It feels like I”m always asking You for things, but I want to be a giver too. I want to give all that I am to You.
Recently my husband, Dustin and I bought a house. We are really excited about it. However, there are things here and there that we would like to change to make the house more “us.” One of the things we wanted to do is update the fireplace.
When we first moved into the home, it looked like this:
This brick didn’t match the outside brick and to be honest, it felt out-of-place. When I was looking online at Pinterest for home projects, I ran across this photo:
I started talking to Dustin about the idea of painting the brick. At first, he didn’t seem too keen on it. Then, however, I pulled up this photo and showed it to him. He liked it. Then I found a website that sells wall stickers. They had a design I liked, but that I knew could be easily edited. For a few weeks, we argued over paint color but we finally settled on one that made both of us happy. The colors we settled on were Ultra Pure White and Aqua Waters by Behr.
First, we had to prime it with a special masonry primer. I believe we used Behr brand from The Home Depot for this also. The primer keeps the masonry work from soaking up your paint and making you use a ton of it. It wasn’t hard to prime and we had quite a bit of fun along the way.
The priming begins:
Once the brick is mostly done, we think we may leave it the white primer without any color or primer on the grout.
The decision for white was short-lived, and we still considered not painting the grout, but…
The randomness of it was more than either of us could bear. So, all of the grout was also painted.
After a few days of free-hand painting by my husband, the fireplace was finished. Complete with an owl, a total nod to Harry Potter, on the right hand side.
What do you think of our fireplace?
The cabinets on the left will be completed in the next couple of days and then it’s on to our next project: custom concrete countertops! Pretty excited!
Thanks for following along with our fun project. Welcome to our home!
So, yesterday was the VERY FIRST DAY! of my negativity fast, and to be frank (who is Frank anyhow?) it was a pretty big bust. Oh, I did okay with the “checking things off the list” part; read Bible passage (check!), daily declaration (check!), other declarations (check!), additional Bible passage from Bible reading plan (check!), but…negativity fast/positivity feast (brrrrrrrrrrrrmp). I did try, but there was several times that AFTER I said something negative, I noticed it. I don’t know how to guide my niece’s behavior without negative words. This is what I know. Throw onto the top of all that, that I didn’t feel well (another negative. ugh) and it didn’t go well, at all.
Two days ago, she wrote me a letter telling me that I say stuff to her all the time that hurts her feelings, and makes her feel worthless. Worthless! I had no idea. All this time (since we took her in, in April) and I thought I was building her up, making her learn how to be successful, providing for her, but reality is here: I make her feel worthless. She is not worthless; she is worth so much. I thought that’s what I was showing her. I have failed. A big, fat epic fail.
So, my prayers are desperate and open: God, please don’t let me make her feel how I’ve felt about myself all these years. Help me. Please help me.
This parenting a teenager thing is hard. Throw in that she’s already been wounded by women in her life, and it’s that much harder.
I wonder if this post is considered negative. I hope not, because I’m truly seeking a solution for this one.
In 2012, I went through a lot of changes. In January (1-2-12) I married the best man I have ever known, Dustin. At the time, I had two foster children. They returned to their family in February, and it was heartbreaking to me. I really did not expect to be quite so attached to them. However, I’m glad they have been able to return to a normal family life and experience love from their biological families. In April, my niece came to live with us. She was having some trouble in school and what not, so Dustin (AMAZING MAN!) and I decided that we would give it a shot. It has changed (for the better, I think) both of us. Around June we found out that my brother had cancer, and he has been fighting it through chemotherapy since then and we now know that he is CANCER FREE!!! Throughout the year I lost friends, family members, and former classmates unexpectedly. I also have really lapsed in going to church, and I had some faith issues that I had to work through. I’m feeling much stronger in my relationship with the Father now. In addition to (and sometimes in spite of) all that, I lost SIXTY pounds! That’s a whole child. hehe. Just ten days ago, I survived the end of the world. Life is good.
I thought I’d put my plans for 2013 here in black and white…or whatever color it shows up. So, here they are…
I think that’s it. What are your plans for 2013? It is the year of tremendous blessing.
Here’s lookin’ at you, kid. Happy New Year!
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.
Tonight I find myself reminiscing. I’ve been listening to a CMT Crossroads with Kelly Clarkson and Reba McEntire. Both very talented ladies and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to hear the beauty of their voices. They fit so well together. Their coverage of a variety of songs on this video reminds me of a lot of things in the past. I couldn’t begin to explain it all here.
I’ve been told before that I need to let the past lie where it does, but I just don’t agree. History makes us who we are.
Remember where you came from, remember where you’ve been, and thank God for where you are.
Until next time,
I will remember.
10/22/47 – 12/05/81
I miss and love you, Daddy.
I have been struggling with my faith. My beliefs have not changed. I believe that God is in control, that He rules the universe and yet still allows us to freely choose Him, but I have not been faithful the way He is.
I have reached out to my friends and they are overwhelming me with their willingness to pray for me. For hours tonight, I have prayed and worshiped and I am feeling improved. I feel hopeful once again. Hopeful that I can draw near to Him regardless of how things look right now. I choose to look with spiritual eyes. I choose to allow Him to work in me. HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FIX THIS.
Father, hear my cries. Renew in me Your spirit.